I want to stop...
But i just cant seem to...
Why must it keep comin down!!
SICK! I feel like a stupid young kid trying to bluff myself!

I am brave enough to go against teachers, even directors... But i just cant seem to be brave enough to face myself... As well as reality....
Always believed that i have the choice... I have the power to choose wad i want and wad i feel.. But somehow.. Certain things cannot he controlled!

Managed to hold it for already 5years...
5Years with no such pain and no such problem...
Why must pple ignore? Knowing full well that i care. And yet still ignore? Do u know wad a terriable feeling it is? Do u know how is it like. Is it supposed to be like that?

Always knew that Lo*e needs to have giving and not so much of taking,
To have patience,
To be caring,
To be understanding,
and to be trusting....
I have tried, Real hard... pissed u many a times... But tried to make up for it... said so many sorries... Nv been like this b4 knowz.. Its my second time being serious abt it!

Maybe its all just wishful thinking on my part... Even if it succeeded, can it last? Myself going NS as well.... But do u tink i want it this way as well?? If this feeling can be controlled, den do u call this lo*e? Can it be lo*e? This word defies all laws of logic... All laws of sensibility...

I am really... for the 1st time in my entire life.. feeling real lost....
Studies come 1st... yes... it must come first... How did i ever get into this mess..... Why must u be so special.... why? Its not ur fault... its mine... Thank you for trying to talk to me...
Maybe u just want to be friends with me... But i just cant help it... Sorry... Thank you for the most memoriable month... since 6th nov.... But i will keep waiting...

The worst feeling is to know that it WAS so near... and yet so far.... Just a few inches away... and it floats away...

I will quietly stand and hide near u... When u need me.. i will be there... just waiting for u to call me... Just pls dun ignore me... Study hard and take care...

Stupid salt water flowing down now....