Marriage

Today I attended 2 wedding ceremonies. The 2 were of vast difference in nature.
The one in the morning was an army cum university friend. He used to have a girlfriend of 8years whom he broke up with during the university term and went with another of my friend for about a month before they broke up and just recently, I heard he got together with this Malaysian girl whom he met while shopping at “Precious Thoughts”. They have been together barely 6 months and now they are getting married… Reason? From what I hear, it is partly because they want to get an apartment and in order to do so, the girl must be a PR and for her to be a PR, they need to get married. Sounds unusual? Apparently it is not so. This is getting very common in these days.

What struck me was how flippant people could be with regards to marriage these days. The event at the private house was a moment which was not solemn. It was on a very light note and cheerful. Do not get me wrong, it is a cheerful event and so there is nothing wrong with the cheerful note. But the solemn and seriousness of the event I found, was sadly not there. Even the exchange of vows was like a joke to me. It was all like some kind of acting and during the swearing in, the music was like overpowering, full of giggles.

“Ideal perfect man I have found”
“I have stopped finding the perfect woman of my life”

To be realistic, there is no perfection as after today, you will find something about the other party you do not like. Marriage is about being realistic, about accepting each other’s falterings and failures.

Side note, this wedding was quite extravagant. Done at a private house at Lentor Avenue, the after event was accompanied with the following
1. Lion Dance by 10 lions x2
2. A Pair of Dragon dancing
3. Some Fu Lu Shou
4. Long pole flag act
5. Lion eating orange and throwing orange skin everywhere and this big head clown
6. A buffet lunch
I think the after event could easily have cost the family at least 15k easily. But overall, I went away feeling disturbed, feeling sad. That is life based on feeling and not so much of sincerity. I may be wrong, but that is my reflection as of now.

The 2nd wedding however, was of vast difference. Held at a humble grassroot club, there was only a couple of tables, maybe about 20 -30 tables for family and friends. This couple, I have know them since my poly days. At that time, they were already together since sec3 and the guy has always been tutoring the girl for the whole period in poly. Later on, he went on to serve his bond with the Air Force. As for her, she went back to study for a diploma in childcare. From what I heard, she went into engineering because of him so I guess naturally he had to ensure she went through that time well. So from sec3 to date, it is about 10years of love. 10years of being together, 10years of knowing each other, 10years within the parents knowing them, 10years I find of being close to each other, will help each other also know the “other side” of a person. This is find is the key to overcome before 2 can actually stay together under one roof. It was a really sweet event, everyone was silent during the swearing in and exchange of vows.

Another thing that really caught me was the bridegroom and the bride’s best men and women. THEY WERE ALL SECONDARY SCHOOLMATES! Can you imagine that! People who are able to stick together for so long and being so close to each other. I think that was really the highlight. It might not be a very glamorous event, but the whole meaning and atmosphere was right. You walk away knowing that this couple would likely be together in the years to come.

Now than, back to myself.
I am still currently unattached. I know of many girls, but haven’t got into any relationship for reasons a many. I’ve lost my mum, I want a companion but unable to find one who is able to provide for me. Pause… provide for me? That is not right… it should be a mutual providing. I only want one whom I can mutually talk and listen to, to share stuffs, to have a mutual understanding and central of it all, we share the common understanding and conviction of what life is all about. What meaning in life is and in the center of it all, God-fearing.

I will ever be able to find such a one? God knows…