Muddled

Tweety, Today was a day filled with mixed feelings… boy am I tired of all this shit…

I am happy going out
But I am unhappy reflecting
There is so much to think about
And I cannot just go ahead letting my feelings direct me
I might end up hurting myself and everyone else

I love going out with her
It’s always filled with laughter and joy
But at the same time
You can’t help but be reminded that she is like this to everyone
Can I take it?
Will it be able to take it?
Trust I guess

But at the same time
I am tired of her* being so innocent
So unsure
So unconfident
But she reaches somewhat deeper
Perhaps it was due to all the time spent
The knowledge gained about her
With her being so simple to understand

Is a Christian
Izzant a Christian
Seems obvious izzant it
Or is it not?
Either
Or neither?

Suddenly
Unknowingly
Both brought food for me
She might not say it
But is it what it is I perceive?
Or is it just simply her?
Have I really touched the depth of her heart?
Or have I simply touched both?

I need to choose
The crossroads has been reached
Time is running out
Is it?
Is this the sign of an ending?
Or the sign of the beginning
No one is perfect
But I will never be a 3rd
Maybe bad timing?
Blame that it can’t help but keep slipping by…
But the feeling is weird…

It doesn’t rain
It simply pours
Or it just shines all day long

Hardened, neutralized

Life is determined by principal and subsidiary causes, but they are always unpredictable.
Don’t be happy when you get something because it means a possibility of losing it.
Don’t be sad when you don’t have it because there is always a chance of getting it

Weird
I had no feelings or what-so-ever just now
When I was there

There was an urge though
Know what was going on
Tears were welling up in your eyes
But I pushed them back in
I guess?
Or it was really because they were dry

Dunno what is in your mind
Perhaps not wanting as well
Cos at the end of the day
We can’t just stop and refuse to move
Even if it is a hard way
We have to learn

Do pay attention to your priorities
Do take care of yourself
Cos only you are able to do it
Noone else can
You choose your way
You determine what you want to be

Am sad
To see you carry on like that
And yet not help
But glad
Cos it is part and parcel of life
Your life

Just a feeling Coming over me...

Just realized today that I am not so bad after all
Am able to make the opposite sex blush
Able to make the opposite sex smile
Able to make the opposite sex feel paiseh

Hahaz.
Feeling high
Feeling elated
But carrying on like that will not get me what I want

It is hard
It is tough
To be able to find someone
Who is the one
Just right for me

It is fun
It is tiring
It is interesting
It is irritating
The suspense of it all

In this game of love
Of finding the perfect one
Just suited for me
Requires patience
Requires skill

Am I really getting old?
Am I no longer young for this?
Or has the age for it just begun
It is not for fun
It is not a pun
But it is for real

Not for experience
Not for self
But for love
Finding the right one
Everlasting

Are Christians really that rare?
I don't believe
The Lord provides...

Wake up will you?

I wasn’t really myself…
Wo fan Gui Le...
The timing izzant ripe
But I couldn’t help but do it
I couldn’t bear to see you in that state

It’s ok,
I’ll learn.
Hate seeing someone walking into a sink hole
When I know that the someone is in that direction
Knowing that I can do something about it
But yet not

Reason?
We all have the right to choose
We all have the right to make decisions
We all need to learn
When we fall
Than only will we grow

It’s dangerous I know
It’s delicate
It’s painful
It’s going to be tough
But we all have to go through this path at some point of time

Pity
I mainly feel pity
When I saw the way things went
Right before me
Seeing you walk
Right into a dead end

No apologies
You have to face it alone
Maybe sometime
I might just be like you as well
But well, I learn as I watch

Sometimes I wonder
What is experience?
Does having experience give the right?
And not having experience not?
Den why do the experience seem inexperienced and dumb?
Why do the experienced keep walking into the same circle
Why do they keep hiding as well?

Oh well
Something I do not wanna know
But seriously
It is a load on my chest
Wishing, hoping, praying,
For the day you finally come to your senses