Haha, sneaked in here while all my aunts and uncles are talking outside.. =P
Now got this wong fei hong show siaz. hahaz and i dun intend to miss it.

Hmmz.. Guess i will have to do the same thing back to u... Dragging this on is doing none of us any good. Will not take anymore initiative. U do wad u want den only both of us can feel "good" i guess. Know that u are under alot of stress but it does not give u any good reason to ignore me.

Was thinking. Why does it take so long to find the rite gal...
Maybe because i dun go for gals that are too attractive who attract alot of attention, who has alot of suitors, who is "kai fang" and who does not know how to take care of herself.. who is naive and too innocent... why ar? all those points good mahz... is wad most guys might probably go for.. but i dun want! Because i would feel insecure... Never will know which guy might be after u... Maybe u say i dun trust u, But its someting natural that comes to me mahz... I am also human... I will try to protect u with all i have... But u must also do ur part to let me feel assured mahz...

Love has to be mutual.. thats the hardest thing to get i guess... Maybe thats why i am single to now... i am so choosy... But thats me! I dun want a relationship that only last for only a week? a month? I dun believe in such relationships... i only believe, that we 2 want to be together, its not something that is decided at the spur of the moment... am not the kind that things relationship is a game... Maybe it was wishful thinking of mine to think that we could be together... Guess so.... Well... Just have to wait for the rite one, for the rite time...

Guess wad.. My classmate is now father...!!! got married last yr and today got the 1st born liaoz... hahaz lame rite!

Den we classmates were talking abt how lucky he is havin a son at such a young age etc etc den money prob to air force to planes to SHITTING in a plane etc hahaz
hmmz... made me think of things... hahaz nvmz... must learn to persevere and behave myself hahaz. hmmz.. but sometimes is cannot help it... hmmz.. got the song i wanted.. realli so nice siaz.. hahaz.

In Love With You

Just a gentle whisper
Telling me that you're gone
Leaving only memories,
Where did we go wrong?
I couldn't find the words then
So let me say them now . . .
I'm still in love with you.

But i guess will have to do it silently nowz... hmmz.. guess so... Ji Xiang Ru Yi today so emotional also siaz. aryoz... One thing remains i guess.. U happy, so am i... Well. Have to learn to get along with life lorz.. hahaz... ....

Hmmz.. LOTS of things happened today
hahaz, Hmmz. lets see... Yesterday and today, i have been getting "messages" of different forms that when love.... Gets too deep, it can turn into hate.... There is an element of Truth in it... i agree. BUT will not and i dun intend, To let that happen for my case...

Someone just brought up to me. Heryi, Do u want to really start a relationship? or just be very good friends with her? This started a series of thinking to come into my head.
Next:
If u want to start a relationship with her, then u will risk that she might avoid and ignore u forever. Den i was like huh? why like that? Reason was simple. If she doesnt like u, and u keep showing her care and concern, she willl get pissed. And to avoid misunderstandings, she will avoid and ignore u. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sick rite. Haiz... OK, i am not unreasonable. SO from now on, As long as u are happy and comfortable, i will do it. Shall not force or do anything to make u uncomfortable from now on. If u want to talk, feel free to. I will always be there for u as usual.... its going to be hard on myself i guess... but I think its worth it... I think its also time for me to let go... hmmz.. but i know i cant... so i let u do it ur way.... haiz... Will try to do it... i will...

Next... I meet 3 ex pri and sec sch classmates outside! ahhaz small world manz!
One of them was this guy who was wearing his army uniform! so coolz hahaz.made me think abt how time flies....
The next 2 pple i met were on the bus! were my sec1 and 2 classmates hahaz. and we talked abt the good ole daes back at sch manz hahaz. Both were gals =P arhahaz so qiao somore. Anyway, i suddenly feel that i should start to think abt the old times and start finding that list of phone numbers.... hahaz its been a real long time =P So at the end of the bus ride we exchanged phone numbers! beat that.... After 2 to 3 long years of not communicating at all, we suddenly met and ON THE BUS! wad a small world manz.... hahaz

Hmmz... ok... so i am not feeling so bad nowz... But i guess things are dying down... i am not going to bother u anymore so that both of us can cool off? But in there... at least for this time being, there is still a small space. Empty and reserved =)....

Hmmz
I am so messed up, freaked up.
Right now, i can think this as 2 different ways and yet in so many different angles..
haiz

Would really like to know why u are ignoring me still... Maybe i am impatient. But just can't help it one lorz.

Just would like to know some points to make me feel betta... or else i am always floating in the air between depression and excitement... But more of depression... haiz

Are u ignoring me because u are busy?
Or because u find that i am boliao?
Or because u are unhappy and angry with me?
Or u dunno how to talk to me now?

If i get this reply, den only will i know wads the prob and how to solve it rite? aryaz.... haiz...
But still, gotta thank u for ignoring me.. kinda like reminds me that studies come 1st.. =) thanks, But hope u dun continue to do it... -_-

" You never love someone because they are beautiful; they are beautiful because you LOVE them."

hmmz.... Was feelin real horriable all these while, but now its much betta
Just came back from church...

LOVE
Love is patient, Love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES

Love NEVER fails.
But where there Prophecies, they will cease
Where there are tongues, they will be stilled
Where there is knowledge, it will pass away
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears...

And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love
But the greatest of these three is love...

Lifted from the Bible... 1 Corinthians 13

i know that i have failed in many areas for this 4letter word... espacially in trust... Ever so sorry.. But all i can do now is to Persevere and wait for the rite time...
Dun want to disrupt ur studying for ur tests next week..
But after ur tests, i would sms u, Hope that u would reply....
All i can do now is to wait for time to heal...
But one thing for sure... i will always be there waiting.... and ready whenever u need me...
Also, must thank the 3 of u ( u know who u are) who has always been beside me when i needed it most =P and sorri for kinda infecting u pple tooz hahaz =P

Sigh~
just cant seem to sleep...
Lots of thingies going through my head...
You could have done many many things to show me that u want to ignore me and that u are unhappy with me... But u didnt.... But when i want to talk to u face to face, or sms u, u didnt reply...

Feelin real messed up now.... Guess the only thing i can do is to wait.... Wait for u to maybe sort out ur thoughts? and also test my patience... A wait worth waiting for? i very much guess so.... its just thoughts that goes through my head while waiting... sigh~