At the edge? Or ......

I seem to have a lot to say… but words doesn’t seem to flow out of my mouth so well now. I think I might get dumb one day.

I want to talk, but I can’t seem to know what to talk about. Is it you or is it me? I feel hot at a time and cold the next. What is it that you really want? I really do not know. Have I done something wrong? Or is it you want it just this way? Maybe, I haven’t really known you well enough.. but yet.

I am starting to have some doubts… but somehow… I keep wanting to look forward. I want to talk to you, would u let me? Or am I becoming a pest that buzzes around you. I seriously don’t want to be that.

I do not want to seem

That I am rushing things

To be ever so eager to know you that it irritates you

But yet

I do not want to lose it if it was already going in the right direction

Someone said it has a period

Is this period really so short?

Or is it longer?

How can I know?

Let the instinct lead the way?

Shall I just wait for the lead?

Or should I create the lead?

I thought the male should be the one doing that

So which is which

Can I have some sign from you to know which direction to go?

Both can lead to good endings

But we need to walk in sync…

Can I, may I, please, walk in sync with you?

The Need to Know...

There are still much that I need to learn about you… I realized. I guess I need to keep working at getting to know you better… It’s not an excuse but a fact. Can you open your doors to let me know you better? I know the first step still lies with me I guess.

I had the weirdest dream last night

It was something of significance I guess… to me..

And the backdrop is even weirder…

I dreamt that my parents and I stayed at hostel… see… that is weird rite. And that day, you drove to school as well and stayed over too.

The next morning, when we came down, my parent’s car had a wheel stolen and yours had 3 wheels stolen… and I am still thinking why 3 and not all >.<

Naturally, tears soon started appearing on your eyes and not wanting to be seen crying, you ran away to a corner and wanting to comfort you, I followed suit. But I tugged you to another place as I didn’t want my parents to know… ya…

In that corner, I tried to comfort you. For the first time, you pulled my hands around you. No words were expressed. It was silence. But it was silence that was not deafening.

After a long period of time, I whispered.

“Actually, I have something to ask you”

“what?”

“Ru guo you yi tian, ni you yi ge hao peng you lai dui ni biao bai, ni hui ze me yang?”

-silence

But there was a slight grin at the edge of your mouth…

I cant remember what happened after that… but I only remember one thing, which is you said this after dunno what

“You do not have to rush, if it is already yours”

Soon after, some police came…

I talked to them and apparently they already knew about the tires being stolen and they even brought some fella to fit on the wheels back for FREE.

-_- lame I know, but that’s why I tell you, this is just a dream

But a very sweet one…

Seriously, I do not know what I should do now

Seriously, I want to ask you that very same question

But I do not want it to end up that we can’t even be like right now once after I ask u

The fear of rejection and not be able to be friends once again.

Should I? Or should I not?

Many things have happened that points that you are waiting for me to express it

But there are also things that point that you are not ready for it

Am I just a friend?

Or something more?

Thanks for the reply even though it was super late already

It showed that at least u replied…

But still

I am at loss at what to do

Let nature take its course?

I might not have that many chances left do I?